Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Years Eve

it's that time again, the ending of one year and the beginning of another. This year has brought me and Landon much change, both good and brought us heartache, emotional turmoil, pain, suffering...and the blessing of being able to start over on a new course in our lives, one free from lies, abuse and neglect. A path where we can focus on each other, and let God lead us down the road he has blessedly placed us on. I dont know for certain what our futures hold, but i have faith in the one who does know, because anything he has planned for us is better than anything i could plan for us. It is in this state of mind i prepare for the new year...OUR new year. Many people choose the new year to lay out resolutions for themselves, most that never come to fruition. i wont be doing that. i have some ideas of things i'd like to focus on in 2011, but if i dont then ill only have let myself down.
1)keep working on becoming healthier
2)keep doing good in school (i passed my math class with an A-)
3)focus on keeping landon busy, happy and content
4)begin preparing landon for kindergarden
5)focus more on my relationship with God and on what he has for me

that's pretty much it! Tonight, instead of going out, i opted to stay home. I did this for a few reasons. the main one being that while im feeling much better, i am still sick. I also wanted to ring in the new year with the most important person in my life, my Landon. the other reason is that i just didnt feel like partying. i'd rather not spend the 1st day of the new year wasted and hung over, feeling like crap. i just dont see the attraction at all! so landon and i are spending the night watching movies, and if he makes it im letting him stay up till midnight. We're going to have a special desert, and then ill have a half glass of wine and Landon gets a glass of sparkling juice.

Happy New Year to you all, may God rain his blessings on you in 2011!


Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. ~Benjamin Franklin

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. ~Bill Vaughan

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things. ~John Burroughs

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Snow day & hospital stay

Sunday the 26th was our snow day. We woke up to a beautiful, sunny morning in the valley. We got all our snow gear together, packed some snacks, and picked up ash, Kelly & Conner. We headed out past rogue river, past wimer, up a gorgeous mountain to a spot Ashley knew about. Pickels made it up no problem, she's such a trooper! When we got up there a bunch of ash's family and friends were up there. They had set up a camp stove with coffee & cocoa, and had a bonfire to keep warm. The kids were all sledding, which was what Landon spent most of the morning wanting to do. Ash & Kelly both took him a couple times, me in my sneakers with no traction stayed by the fire! When we got up there it started snowing, big fat furry was so pretty!!! Landon and i headed back home after he got all soaked and the bonfire wouldn't dry his jeans out. next time, snow pants for the boy!
my snow baby
ashley & landon sledding
(the view up the pretty!)

when we got home we had lunch, and cuddled up on the couch with the big blankets and had a nap. When i woke up my throat was very sore, and my head felt fuzzy and my ears were hurting. as the day went on i got worse and worse, and was pretty sure i had strep again. Monday morning i saw the doctor and she confirmed strep, so Jake came and took Landon. she told me i had the worse case of strep she had ever seen, and prescribed me some liquid antibiotics. by Tuesday my throat was much worse, and i wasn't able to get anything, medicine or liquid or anything down. i took a nap Tuesday afternoon, and woke up having a hard time breathing. my friend called an ambulance for me and they rushed me to the ER. they gave me oxygen and an iv in the ambulance. when i got the the ER and saw the doctor he was impressed i could even breath with how swollen my throat was. they kept me on oxygen all Tuesday night, and started giving my steroids, anti-inflammatory's, and anti-biotics by Iv. Wednesday morning i could at least talk a little, and after 4 rounds of steroids and IV meds my throat finally started to open again. i was able to get down some soup Wednesday at lunch, and ate some soft noodley thing Wednesday night. My voice is no back to normal, my throat is only a little sore and my fever has broken. im really glad i decided to go to the ER, i think it was the right thing to do. Thank you all for your concern and prayers, i appreciate it.

Yes, i have been sick alot this fall/winter. my doctor and i talked about it and he thinks because of the blood clots my immune system is weaker than normal. I have to agree. i usually get one bad cold a winter and that's it, but not this year. i had my flu vaccine in October, but at the hospital this stay they gave my the pneumonia vaccine, which they usually reserve for the elderly, but the doctor felt it was a good idea for me. Better safe than sorry. and now it's time for this tired momma to finish her chamomile tea and head to bed. Night all!!!
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Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry christmas...somewhere?

Merry christmas. Today was our first christmas without jake, thought he managed to ruin the day for me. He brought landon home this morning, and told me we needed to talk. He told me how he dosent want to go through with the divorce. How he always thinks about me. He lied and told me he isnt with his girlfriend anymore, and wants to see where things could go between us. Pretty much he lied through his teeth to get me to be intimate with him. I hate it. i hate the lies and the manipulation. I will never understand what i did to him to make him treat me the way he does. But thankfully he's lies helped me finally see no matter how much i love or care for him I DESERVE BETTER!!!

Yesterday i spent the day with ashley, kelly and conner. We did some last minute christmas errand stuff. i managed to back my van into a small ditch( she and all involved were okay) i got pulled over for not having tail lights, but it was an officer i know and he didnt give me a ticket. Kelly, ashley and conner stayed the night. We cooked steak, potato's and veggies for our christmas eve dinner. we stayed up late watching movies and ashley dyed my hair, i wanted the red out of it.
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this morning i made cinnamon rolls for breakfast. when landon got home from jake's we opened presents. i made ashley & kelly a movie pack(movie, popcorn, movie candy) we got conner some clothes, a jacket, and some bath toys. Landon got some batman imaginex sets, the big batcave, a giftcard, a spiderman beanie and gloves, a transformer, the game mouse trap, some clothes, 3 movies, new coloring books, playdoh, a toy story bath set, a toy story toothbrush holder set, a buzz lightyear stuffed animal with blanket, a woody stuffed animal with a blanket, oregon ducks slippers, and of course some new hotwheels. he also got some cool stuff at his dads house.I got 2 new scarves, new gloves, 2 scrapbook frame sets, and a new wallet.
(the stockings are stuffed, snata came!)
(ash, kelly and conner opening stockings)
(opening presents)
(conner and landon in their matching jammies)

Landon and i spent the day cuddling on the couch in our jammies watching movies. we took a nap together, then made dinner together.(stuffing, green bean casserole, sweet potato's and pumpkin pie) now we're getting ready for bed, tomorrow we're going to the mountains to play in the snow. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas full of love and happiness.

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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

one step closer to 30...LOL

Monday Landon and i made our annual goodie platters. This year i kept them pretty simple. We made pumpkin bread, sugar cookies, gingerbread cookies, peppermint mocha cookies, rice crispy treats, cupcakes, and puppy chow chex mix. Landon had so much fun being able to do most of the mixing and decorating! he's such a big helper in the kitchen, and he just loves to "cook" with me!

Yesterday was my 25th birthday. I have very mixed feelings about it...about getting older. I dont want to get older! I dont want to be 30, or 40, or 50...but i have no choice, so i need to accept that.
Anyway, i had a GREAT birthday. Monday night Landon used some of his own Christmas money to buy me birthday dinner. It was without a doubt the best chicken nugget happy meal i have ever had!!! and it was just so sweet and so wonderful. I love that kid so much!!!
Tuesday i got woken up to Landon singing happy birthday to me. then i was given lots of wonderful birthday kisses. For my birthday Landon got me a very pretty necklace and earrings, and a really big hersheys kiss. My friend Ashley got me some very pretty earring, and i got myself a very pretty ring. i also got a gift card, a check, and some money for my birthday, plus some VERY pretty cards.(thank you all)I also was wished happy birthday a ton of times, and it felt very nice to be remembered. My friend Melissa took me out to lunch at Taprock, this really nice little restaurant on the river. It is an amazing place, so pretty, with great food. Ashley & Kelly took me out for dinner, and then they spent the night here last night. we rented movies, got a bottle of wine and stayed up WAY to late talking and just having a good time. It was really nice. I spent the day with people i love, who love me, and my day was full of happiness.

I was bummed that Jake forgot my birthday. It was hard for me, and kinda hurt. But that's just how things are for us now, and i suppose i need to try and keep that in mind a little better. Sometimes i wish that i didnt miss him, but i am only human.

Today i got my blood drawn again. My INR is at 3.0, which is FINALLY in the range the doctor wants it to be in. so no more tweaks in my dosage for a while i hope! After that we took Landon and Conner to a christmas party at trudy's work where the kids got presents given to them by santa claus. Landon was tickled pink!!! he got a red lego race car, a gift he had really wanted. Madi got him the big toy he wanted, Stinky the talking dump truck. I had wanted to get it for him but it's almost $60, but madi got to use her sister-in-laws discount at fred meyer, so she got it for him. He's going to be so spoiled this christmas! and now im off to bed, ive been fighting off a headache all day.

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Friday, December 17, 2010

prepping for christmas

today i finally finished all my Christmas shopping, except for a few small stocking stuffers i need to get Landon. i wanted to stray this year from mostly candy and do mostly small toys. i got a few candy items, and a Christmas edition hot wheel car, and im thinking maybe 2 more small toys will be enough.
Landon is up the wall excited for Christmas. he has an advent calendar, one of the kinds with a piece of chocolate behind each of the windows that count down till Christmas. I always use to have them as a kid, so i figured i would do that for Landon too. I just love making traditions with him. i love passing on things that i loved as a kid, and seeing him love them too. I wish more of our family was closer, so that they could be involved as well. But we have gma trudy, and Denise and Ed, so we're okay. And of course my wonderful family of friends(Madi, Vana, Ashley, Kenzie, Kelly, Dawn, Chany)
Sometimes it's easy to be overwhelmed by the the things that hurt, and the past few months have been full of those things. But more and more im learning to change my focus to those things which are good. Landon and I really are SOOO blessed. We have family and friends who love and care for us. We have our health, our home, and a God who died for us. Maybe we go without some things that we want sometimes, but we have everything we need.
So, 5 days till my birthday and 8 days till christmas. YAY.

also, thought i would share this...

Sunday, December 12, 2010

reindeer games!!

i know i haven't blogged in quite some time. Things have been, overwhelimg to say the least...but im back in a place where i can blog and not have it be just me complaining, or im back!!!
Last weekend Madi and I took Landon, and her son Elijah, to see Santa. They loved it. Elijah didnt even cry like some babies do. Landon asked Santa for a red race car and some hotwheels track.(like we need more of that! LOL)
Yesterday i helped madi and max move into their new house. Madi is just glowing with pride at being a home owner. Her house fits her too, it's very cute, with a nice fenced in yard. It's near a park, and on a quiet cul-d-sac with not much traffic, and so far all her neighbors that she's met are very nice. After moving all day we were exhausted last night, but we decided we need to celebrate, so some friends came over, we hung out, had some drinks and played wii all night. It was fun, but that wii bowling really makes your arm stiff if you play too long!
This morning was church and practice for landon, for the christmas musical next weekend. He knows his song by heart but we still are working on the motions. After church we went to the reindeer games with Denise and Ed. They had reall reindeer, and hot cocoa, and games, and santa. Landon loved it! it was cool because instead of money you got tickets to do everything, and to get the tickets you just had to bring donations for the food bank. After that we went to lunch with Denise and Ed, just talking and enjoying each others company. It was really nice.
(frosty the reindeer)
Madi and i did some running errands, and i almost finished my christmas shopping. I have one more gift to get, and then some stocking stuffers for Landon. Landons going to be so happy. there is this batman batcave set he wants, with about 15 different smaller sets that go with it, and Trudy, jake and i all got him part of the set, so put together he'll have everything. I can't wait till he sees it all. So far the holidays have been kinda hard on him, with jake and i not being together anymore and all that, but he's doing okay. He acts out sometimes, and has been having more accidents and temper tantrums, but his therapist assures me it's all normal. It's hard to watch him go through it, to see him hurt by the mistakes that others have made...but i know god has a plan for us, for this, so we continue to take it one day at a time.
And now that im back blogging again i promise not to go 2 months till the next one. Night all.