Sunday, May 8, 2011

mothers day

i am SO BLESSED to be a mother. I often despair that I'll never have another, and wonder why i was chosen to carry that burden...but i do have 1! i was already blessed with an amazing son, and if he's my only that's okay! anyway...I was woken up at 7:30 this morning to kisses and cuddles. Landon told me "happy mothers day mommy" and gave me my present. He got me a beautiful heart shaped locket that says "#1 mom" on it. He picked it out all by himself, didn't let me see it and kept it a secret until today(he was so happy with himself) Then we cuddled and went back to sleep for a little bit. We went to the mothers day pow wow with madi, max & elijah. Landon had fry bread for the 1st time and loved it. He was also really into watching the drummers and dancers. And he got to pick out a new dream catcher for himself. When we got back to rogue river it was still sunny so we went to the park and played. When we got home he helped me make dinner and we watched a movie together, and he fell asleep cuddled up to me on the couch. When i carried him upstairs to bed he asked me if i had a happy day...i told him everyday with him is a happy day! ive been so stressed the past few days with bills, and life, and someone not paying his child support...but today none of that mattered because im a mother of a wonderful boy and stresses or not im doing the best i can for my son, and we are healthy and happy. i hope all the rest of you mothers had a wonderful day as well!

May she who gave you birth be happy. ~ Proverbs 23:25
A kindhearted woman gains respect.~Proverbs 11:16
Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.~ Psalm 127:3
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. ~ Proverbs 31:28

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Monday, May 2, 2011

bin laden and the phoenix

Today, may 1st, 2011, the world received news that Osama Bin Laden is dead at the hands of the US military. There is much rejoicing in the world today. I think the rejoicing is both good and premature, but i only hope that this evil man's death can bring some resolution to the many who lost loved ones on 9/11/01 and to the many more who have lost loved one's in the past 9 years in our war on terrorism. I am so thankful i know men and women who have fought for our country. I consider myself blessed to be their friend.(Melissa, Dustin, Mel-a-bel, Nick, Brad, Branden, Kevin, Evan, Neils, William) I am so proud of them and so thankful for them, and for all the military members i don't know, who daily risk their lives for my freedoms and our country. It's strange to think back to 9/11/01...it honestly seems so long ago. I first heard what had happened on the radio in the bus that morning. sitting at a red light coming into gp right by riverside park i listened to the kldr dj announce the world trade center had been attacked. That day, in almost all of my classes, i watched over and over the terrible footage of the plane crashing into the tower. I cried as we learned of the many who were missing and probably dead. I was shocked, scared, and confused. I knew things like this happened, but not in America! In the days and weeks that followed i saw my country come together to mourn and to demand justice. i sought healing for my own pain the writing of a experimental productions play, called simply "9/11" And now, 9 years later, to know that the man responsible for this is dead is confusing in a new way. I am glad he is dead, but isn't it wrong to rejoice in the death of another? and what will this mean for our country now? Im not naive enough to think this will magically mean the war is over and the troops will all come home. let's face it, another will step up to fill Bin Laden's shoes...but them again, maybe not. maybe knowing that we(america) will stop at nothing to bring down terrorists will stop a new bin laden from emerging...i can only hope!

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someone asked me what the title of my blog means, "to rise like a phoenix from the ashes" I'd love to explain it because it fits how im feeling today. To understand what it means you have to understand the legend of the Phoenix. A phoenix is a mythical bird that is a fire spirit with a colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple, blue, and green according to some legends). It has a 500 to 1000 year life-cycle, near the end of which it builds itself a nest of twigs that then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix arises, reborn anew to live again. This is of course a myth, but one that fascinated me when i studied it in school. I feel like this symbolism fits my new life. I was alive, beautiful, happy. then i was burned in the worst way, completely destroyed...or so i thought! Really, i was reborn, given a new life and a chance to find true happiness, love, peace and freedom from infidelity and abuse. I have been given a gift, and second chance for the life God has designed for me. The road to get to that place is hard, full of bumps and times when the darkness is overwhelming and i cannot see the light ahead, but it is there!!! That my friends is what my blog title means.

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